Updated: Apr 3
Contributed by Rousan J. Davidson, Military Wife, Mother, Federal Officer, Publisher, Children's Book Author, and Founder of Davish Publishing Co.
I had all of the plans for my life mapped out from when I would complete graduate school, to where I would move, to what I planned on my career looking like, who I would work for... oh yes! All of it! And, all of the working parts that would drive my success. Having had no idea that my future self would laugh at the young 18 to 21 year old me and wishing she would have let go of control a long time ago, it drives me to want to share my experience of readjustment with you.
I am 29 years old and have moved across the country 4 times in the last 6 years. I am a military wife, a mother to a toddler, a federal officer, publisher, and children's book author. While all of that sounds like a dream, when I began this journey, the process of finding my place in the military community and navigating my way in an entirely new lifestyle that required me to move thousands of miles away from my family, support system, and professional network was difficult.
I didn't realize the sacrifice that came with being a military spouse or that my dreams and plans I held onto so tightly would not work out in MY order.
I was set on making it all happen, and fast. Like many other military spouses, I was stationed in under populated areas and overqualified for most jobs. Coming from a big city and fresh out of graduate school, I was determined to keep control of what I wanted and refused to let the sacrifice it would take get in the way of my aspirations. I was what they call overly ambitious and was willing to bet that nothing would get in the way. It was through overcoming the obstacles of unemployment, underpaid jobs, sleepless nights, and the exhaustion of not letting go of control that I realized... my tunnel vision was making it hard for me to see that success doesn't ONLY look like the plan I had for me. I was struggling, not because things wouldn't eventually turn out well for me, but because I wanted them to turn out as I had planned them to. Six years later, my goals are now being met. I’m watching myself achieve them one by one, BUT GET THIS... the circumstances have not changed -- my perspective has.
Readjustment is my life story, over and over I've had to learn to readjust, refocus, and set out new goals and plans for the new places I'd live, work, and now, raise my son.
It is through readjustment that we develop our resilience.
A good friend once recited this quote to me which has carried me through every change I’ve had to face..... "Bloom where you are planted." (@kiandradawn) Letting go of control not only brings you freedom but it allows you to see all of the other opportunities afforded to you that you hadn't even thought about. The community I was struggling to adjust to was my new support system. My new lifestyle granted me the security I was seeking -- an opportunity to travel and an abundance of resources. I spent far too much time worried I wouldn’t have the resources I needed; not realizing I was a resource myself.
Readjustment is hard whether you are changing jobs, switching careers, moving, starting a new business, becoming a mother, getting married... so many life adjustments can make you feel like you are not ready, you are not enough, or you need more resources. But, when we focus on what YOU bring to the table, as they say... to that new location, job, relationship, event, obstacle, circumstance, or change in your life, it no longer is as hard as you think. Your life experience is invaluable and no resume can measure that.
Here are a few suggestions to keep in mind that will help you readjust during changes or transitions in your life:
Don’t fight change.
Change will always be an adjustment but there is growth in fresh soil.
Readjustment builds resilience. Let go of control.
There is always a Plan B that can make your plan A work.
Be open to new opportunities, new communities, and new environments.
Tunnel vision can sometimes blind you to all the more you can experience.
If I can leave you with anything please remember this:
"YOU are a resource, too. Where you go isn't what makes you, it is the impact YOU make where you go."
Rousan J. Davidson, Military Wife, Mother, Federal Officer, Publisher, and Children's Book Author is the founder of Davish Publishing Co. Rousan has served as an advocate for children and their families in a number of capacities over the last decade. From directing after school programs in underprivileged communities, serving as a children's social worker for families in crisis in the non-profit sector, to serving in positions of leadership with state and now the federal government. Rousan is devoted to inspiring young children and their families to pursue their best selves through resiliency education and self-confidence. Within her early reader publications, she hopes to facilitate these teachings and spark conversations that promote growth and awareness to children that all that they have is all that they need to succeed.
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